• Kaitlyn Guay

Let's Talk...Breakups.

Updated: Nov 24, 2020

I have a pretty good feeling that all of us, at some point in our lives, have gone through a break-up, in some form or another. It’s impossible to explain the pain you go through when you feel like you’ve lost the one person you thought you’d never lose. It’s also impossible to express all the growth that happens within yourself when you’re heartbroken. So this is what I’m going to talk about today, a mix of the hurt, and the good.Lets talk....Breakups.

Falling in love is arguably the most important and needed thing that any of us could ever do in our lives. Humans aren’t meant to be alone, and we all value and seek that feeling of belonging and that connection of being needed and wanted by someone. When you’re in love, it feels as though nothing in the world matters but you and that other person. It feels as though you’re jumping out of a plane and free-falling forever, with no consequences as if you’re invisible. You feel happier than you have ever felt before, and I think I am fair to say that when you are in love, you truly can’t explain how or why you feel that way. You feel as though you will never lose that person, and you never want to.

The hardest part about falling in love is knowing that you are giving your heart to someone else, and despite the fact you may believe they will never break it, your heart could be broken, and that’s always a risk.

If you’ve been heartbroken, you know it feels so painful that you can’t even breathe. You feel as though your lungs have been crushed and you can’t breathe in any air. It’s as if your heart's made of glass, and that glass was shattered. Over time, you can pick up the pieces, but you will never be able to put it back together in the same way. After heartbreak, your heart has changed, the way you choose to love will be different, and you will be different.

I want to focus on how to be okay after a break-up, “okay” in loose terms. It can feel impossible some days to get out of bed or to stop crying, and that’s okay. It can also feel like some days you want to hold back every single emotion because you want to be strong, and that’s okay too. All I am going to say is that you have to let your emotions out, and you have to allow yourself to feel the pain. The pain hurts more than any physical injury I’ve ever had, but you can’t heal unless you release the pain. So, cry. Cry it all out. Scream in your car while listening to your old love song. Ball your eyes out and eat as many containers of ice cream as it takes for you to stop crying. Wake up in the morning with puffy eyes and blurry vision, and cry some more, even though you didn’t think your body had any more tears left in it.

After this, pick yourself up. Go to the gym, go to a friend’s house, paint, sing… I don’t care! You have to do something. Yes, feeling the pain is healthy because you can’t hold it in forever, but embracing the pain as if it feels good is where you need to stop. I have been at that point where the pain is so much that I embrace it and feel as though it’s taking over, almost to the point where the pain feels good. You can’t let yourself get to that point, and you have to pick yourself up. Get off the floor, stop listening to sad music, and go do something, anything!

Something I would suggest is finding an outlet for your emotions, one where you can get them out. Whether that’s journaling, writing poems, writing lyrics, making music, or anything else, you need a way to get out the thoughts and emotions so that they aren’t just stuck and circulating in your head. I personally create music and lyrics and am currently making an EP about the break-up I’ve experienced, and that is my creative outlet. You also need a physical outlet. It can be so easy to fall into unhealthy habits and stop taking care of yourself after a break-up, but that is the exact opposite of what you need to do. Like I said, go to the gym, go on a run, do yoga, bike, or even, in my case, rock climb. You need something to boost your mental strength and your physical strength during this type of hurt, and while it can feel impossible on some days to be able to do these things, you just have to. I can’t stress that enough. ESPECIALLY for all of my over thinkers out there! I KNOW you’re out there! Sitting alone in your room and listening to sad music? Thinking about them...then why this happened...then what you could have done wrong...then...yeah. You get my point. Our mind spirals out of control faster than we can control it, and that’s why you can’t sit around all day.

I also wanted to say that if there was something you didn’t have time to do before when you were with your significant other, go out and do it! Chase after your dreams, and show them the amazing life you are living that they are missing out on. The line here is that you have to do this for you! Go after the dreams you want because YOU want to!

Something else I wanted to mention is that it’s so easy to stay in PJ’s all day, not do your makeup, and look like literal sh*t. Some days this is okay, but not every day! For my ladies reading this, find the outfit that makes you look like a queen, put on some make-up, do your hair, and go out looking amazing. Hype yourself up in the mirror! It does work, trust me, I do it every single day. Hype yourself up so much that you start laughing at how funny you sound! Be your own best friend and learn to love every part of you.

Never tell yourself you aren’t good enough, and never tell yourself you aren’t worthy of love. If you are the amazing and strong person that you know you are, then you are good enough, and you are worthy of love. So, go out there and glow up like there’s no tomorrow, do the things you’ve wanted to do, and tell yourself you’ll be okay, even if you don’t believe it yet.

Someday, you will be okay. I promise.

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