Updated: Aug 15, 2020
Adulting means therapy, thats right friends. THERAPY. Don't be shy or shamed by this, in fact it is a very healthy source to breakdown barriers not even you realized you had within yourself. Don't freak out just yet, there are many ways to cope, deal, process, whatever it is that you are going through to get to the other side. My favorite is retail therapy, the walking into that store with a sense of completion, being able to see all the friendly faces of workers, picking out bold clothes so obscured from your style but the marketing campaign did its job and now you have to try it on and need it too. The random waffle maker for ten dollars you didn't realize you needed. How about the sudden urge to buy 4 bags of candy, chips, snacks and trail mix that pulled you in for that reward gift card? Don't even get me started on the adorable bark and play doggo and kitty toys that suddenly found its way into your shopping cart. Somehow 4 hours pass by and checking out with a whopping total of $300 plus but heck you saved because you are a Target Rewards member. On my worst days in life, I can say I have gone to Target so often because I am in LOVE with that feeling of this place. It is the place I leave and I am not even mad about how much money I dropped, just my bank account but she gets over it pretty quickly. For some odd reason Target has always felt like my happy place, my calm place, my place of well completion. Maybe its because Starbucks and wine can both be bought, maybe because it always seems to be pretty decently clean. On the other hand, Target doesn't always have the right solutions and that bargain waffle maker isn't going to make that petty coworker issue go away.
So what are healthy and budget friendly ways that actually help provide a light at the end of the tunnel? This is the part where it gets cliche and I say, "everyone is different". Some people are great at processing issues and are able to work through their problems by journaling, or working out and keep going forward. But.... There is also nothing wrong with breaking down crying and needing a hug, a friend, even an unbiased opinion to help get your shit together. Growing up, I felt it was shamed to speak to a therpaist, people with major issues talked to a therapist. You know, like mass murdering type people, or just ones who suffered in abuse and just had a really toxic or traumatic past. Reality, I personally feel everyone would benefit from therapy. Maybe one on one's or group, maybe low key communication based therapy. Why? The unbiased opinion. I am here to tell you, yes your best friend, sister, parent, or whoever you tell all your major issues to, they LOVE you and would do anything to protect you. Meaning a very biased opinion, they want to provide a "bright side" and sometimes there isn't a bright side. That's called "adulting". In other words life sucks sometimes and you won't have all the answers to life's problems. Guess what, NO one does. There is no book written anywhere saying life starts here, and you will collect $200 when you get to point B, you will get a break at point G, and follow the brick road to square 2. Doesn't make sense right?
I started therapy when I was in middle/high school year. I played volleyball, basketball, softball, tried out for cheer, and ran track. I quit basketball, didn't make the cheer squad, and was the slowest runner. I wasn't a "great" athlete but I loved being apart of something bigger. So the therapy came about when I realized I wasn't the size 2 or 4 heck I wasn't even a size 6. My parents where getting a divorce (only later did I know what really happened), being told it was my fault for the separation. This is when my eating disorder started, but I didn't know it. I thought everyone was purging their food so they could look cute. I started self harming because it made sense to me. I took handfuls of ibuprofen and Tylenol all day. I thought all these actions would just make me feel better. Clearly it wasn't the case. I had counselors, and therapist and I felt I got nothing from it. I've had therapist on and off, sense that time and not until years down the road did I realize having a connection with a good therapist mattered. Therapy pushed me, taught me, it provided that safe feeling just like Target. Except, more emotionally rollercoastery yet effective.
Like most things life, there are more ways than one. Everyone has a different path, some people benefit from group therapy, others need that one on one. To shock you even more, there are even different types of therapy. The obvious physical therapy, but different forms of mental therapy. I don't want to overwhelm you with the different types and lists of therapy sessions and what each one does and can do. Also because again, I am no expert. I am a friend here to help you when those voices creep in your heard saying "Man I am crazy! I have lost it!". You aren't crazy and there isn't anything wrong with getting help. I was forced into therapy because I threw in the towel on adulting. I needed that one unbiased opinion person to hold my hand in the pain, hurt, discouragement and suffering I kept inside. Was it easy? Not in the slightest, I did't see the point, I was seeing no benefit or results. Therapy is weird. There is no progress bar to show you how far you've come, but just like Target and that ten dollar waffle maker you get a sense of getting a deal, saving, and ultimately the winning effect.
If you are strolling down the isles of unnecessary five dollar bins at Target, looking up a therapist near you, adopting a puppy for emotional support or toweling off a sweat session, you are doing wonderful. As always, hope you enjoy that bottle of beverage you are drinking. Cheers friends!