Lets Talk .... Anxiety
O man.. That unbearable word, the feeling of an elephant sitting on top of your chest. For others, anxiety is like your heart just ran a marathon and you have a hallow inside, trying to catch your breath. Sometimes it can be that feeling of like (WHAT THE FUCK)!?!? I can't still, I can't stay focused, my chest is hurting and it feels like I can't catch my breath! HOLY Macaroni, the bigger breath I take the less my lungs can expand. I wish I could say I am an anxiety expert. I wish I can say with the 8 plus years of dealing with anxiety I know ALL the tips, ALL the tricks, I know exactly HOW to beat Anxiety. Pshhhh!! I feel like not even therapist know how to be a anxiety. (Again, I LOVE me therapist) but even after 2 good years of therapy, I only have a few tricks up my sleeve that work for me on certain circumstances. Friend, O friend.... lets talk .. anxiety??
Again, not a doctor and can't professionally help.
Anxiety is most often a bad word, an unknown feeling, something not often talked about. Why?
Most often, people don’t know how to respond to anxiety. It freaks them out.
Ewe! “Something is wrong with you”
“Your over reacting”
“anxiety is mental it doesn’t exist”
“stop being dramatic”
“your just stressed”
People don’t call it what it is, they dimiss you or worse, tell you it’s not anxiety. Validation is a must, validate what your internally feeling, then stick to it! If you feel nervous about a situation, stressed out about the outcome, heck bitting your nails, making your chest tight like a snake squeezing out the blood from within your body!! It is OKAY to admit you are anxious about a situation, a meeting, an important discussion, heck even life outcomes or world pandemic shutdowns!!!! It is OKAY to admit it, now you can find help in areas to release your anxiety. Think of it like stress, ever felt so stressed out and had to walk away from a situation, that data thats due, an angry customer, a mad parent, heck even a tv show?? Most often, we think of an escape place, right?? Like a vacation, a place we can just disconnect from everything and not worry about that problem that way you can walk back into it with fresh eyes and hopefully be a little more at ease. My advice here - PLEASE, don't let ever let some tell you NOT to feel, or what you feel is wrong. Don't let someone make you feel less than for being anxious.
In my past, dismissing the feeling of anxiety just led to an unhealthy healing process. Again, for me, it just created problems in the future. But that’s another blog to future post about. Anxiety. It doesn't happen everyone but it still happens. So how do we deal with anxiety? There is no wrong way to deal with it, just like no right way. Everyone is different and everyone copes different. What I can say is what works for me and when my anxiety got so bad I needed an outer source of help.
My anxiety was so sever, I really didn't know it was anxiety until I had panic attacks that led to black outs. I would be at work waiting tables (hello high-school job) and then crawled in a corner crying, unable to breath, leading to black outs. I would be at dinner with friends and out what felt like out of no where be grasping for air! I have been out to dinner and started scratching my chest ready to rip off my clothes, lungs collapsing, instant hot flashes, sick to my stomach. Getting back on track - small list of what helped.
If I could get to fresh air - that was a must!
Sometimes I had to put ice cubes on my chest or neck
Jumping in a shower, yep - hot or cold but extreme temperature, just to bring me to center ground
This one can go one way or another for me, but running. It depends on where I feel anxious
Some people love yoga - personally not my thing
DANCING!! That's right, dancing it out, turning that music up real loud and either jumping around or screaming at the top of my lungs or even both!
Total kid moment, but I love watching my favorite movie (The Lion King)
Cooking, or baking a cake, something that has a start process and ends with an accomplishment task.
Weirdly, coloring, I know but these Adult Coloring books, complexed and precise, it really helps me - however, I have also been told this isn't some peoples jam
Best advice, try listening to what you have the biggest feeling to do in that moment, if its to cry then cry, but say "Okay you have 30 minutes to sit here and cry and then you have to move into a different task". Then after dancing it out, taking a shower, whatever you moved into doing, observe did that really help you? If not, you might have to start writing a list down. For me, I had coloring books, ice cubes, sports clothes, songs quad up for when anxiety hit and I couldn't think because I was so upset, I would just grab whatever was near. Giving yourself grace and breathing in that moment, and then working towards something different that calms you down is what I have learned. Over the years, some things don't work as affective, or I don't have to do extreme calming down (jumping in the shower fully dressed). You start to be aware of the signs of you anxiety what makes it rise or lower. Instead of avoiding the situation, you are learning how to deal with it at your own pace! That my friend is Adult-ing. You learning and knowing more about your self and what your body needs, on a BIG level of being intuitive with yourself!
As always friends, CHEERS! Here is to Tequila Tuesdays, Wine down Wednesdays, or some good ol milk and cookies throwback Thursdays. Whatever your choice of beverage is, lift It up *clink clink* Cheers to Adulting, making it this far, and until next time!