• Kaitlyn Guay

Lets Talk.... Self Worth, part 1.

We’ve all had those days where we feel like we can’t do anything right.  We’ve all had those times where we feel like have we messed up.  We’ve all had those breakups where we feel like we are worthless.  The truth is, while it may feel like it means everything, they don’t take away from how amazing of a person you are.  Everyone f**cks up, and everyone makes mistakes.  Making these mistakes doesn’t make you any less of a person. The key here is knowing that even if you mess up, you still deserve all that the world has to offer.  The other key here is not putting yourself down about things that truly aren’t even your fault.  So, can you guess what I’m talking about today?  Lets talk self-worth.

First off, self-worth is a huge umbrella word that covers so many important things.  Self-worth can include how you view yourself, how you talk to yourself, and how you act to others as a result of these things.  Do you constantly put yourself down?  Ask yourself constantly “why would I do that?  I’m so stupid”?  We’ve all been there at some point during our lives.  What many people can’t do is see this, and change it.  Today I’m going help anyone out there struggling with this, and give you tips on how I was able to realize my self-worth, and how that has changed my life.

About a year and a half ago, I truly didn’t understand what self-worth meant, because I couldn’t see myself in that way.  A year ago I realized I wanted to change for the better, but didn’t know how to start, and it took a long time to see my self-worth.  About three months ago is when I truly saw my self-worth and knew it.  Now, I am well aware of what I deserve, and will certainly not settle for anything less.  Now you’re probably saying “enough with your story, I want to hear how to learn this!”  When I say it won’t happen overnight, I mean it. 

Learning self-worth takes time and many more life changes than you would probably expect.  One of the biggest life changes I had to make was with friends.  I had been part of a pretty toxic friend group for a while and stayed in it because I just thought I didn’t deserve better and that I was stuck with them.  Oh, honey.  Boy was I wrong.  The second you don’t like something in your life, cut it, it’s as simple as that.  You deserve to be happy, and if something or someone isn’t making you happy, you don’t need it.  I started realizing that this friend group was toxic and that I wasn’t happy, and while it was really hard to initially break away from them, it did get easier.  I say this because if you are in a toxic friendship or friend group, and have been for a while, it will be really hard to break away from that person or people, but it is so worth it.  The second I did that, I realized all of the happiness I was missing out on.  Now, if I constantly am not getting the respect I deserve from someone, I know I don’t need them, and that my friends, is knowing my self-worth.

What also helped me at first was making a list.  Think of things like, what qualities do you want in a friend?  What makes you happy? What doesn’t make you happy? What do you want in your life right now?  Why don’t you have that?  What’s preventing you from having that?  Ask yourself questions like the ones listed above or try and make a list and write them down if that path works for you.  Sometimes seeing what you want right in front of you can motivate you to push harder to achieve the bigger picture.

Do you know what else I did?  Every single morning, I looked in the morning, and would tell myself “I am beautiful” and then say “I am deserving of…”, with a new finish to that sentence every day.  Obviously saying “I am deserving of a Tesla” isn’t what I mean, but saying something like “I am deserving of kindness” or “I am deserving of respect” is what I mean.  Telling yourself these small daily reminders only take seconds, but make weeks of progress.  In the beginning, you won’t see a reason for this, and you won’t believe what your saying in the slightest, but keep saying these things, every morning, and maybe even every night.  Say it with enthusiasm, as if you meant it even if you don’t.  Sooner than you think, you will start believing what you are staying, and sooner than you think after that, you will start believing it in ways that go stronger than just words, but actions.  You will see what you deserve in your life, and start going after it, and I promise you, the steps to get there are so worth it, but patience is key.  As I said, this won’t happen overnight, but it will happen sooner than you think.

Now, I needed to add this little part in here, because you all need to hear it.  If you were in a relationship, and the other person walked away, it’s not your fault.  YOU aren’t the problem.  I’m not saying it was their fault and they were the problem, I’m just saying that you WEREN’T the problem.  Don’t tell yourself “This was all my fault”, “I don’t deserve love”, “I will never love again”, or say “I don’t know what’s wrong with me”.  I’m sure almost all of us have said these things before, but can I just say, there is nothing wrong with you.  You deserve love, and you deserve to love again.  It wasn’t your fault.  I don’t care whats said or even if it was or wasn’t your fault, know your worth, know who you are, and know you are so amazing with or without them.  I just needed to get that out there, because I think we all need to hear it sometimes. When I say your life will become 10 times better and 100 times more clear when you begin to see your self-worth, I am 100% serious.  Don’t believe me?  Why don’t you see for yourself? Until next time my friends.

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